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I want to help

I have always wanted to help people.  I don't set price for my sewing business because i want to make sure all people can afford to repair the items they need.
  I realized a few weeks ago that I loved the people who helped me get my home. I want to be them, or at least help people they way they did. I am getting my real estate license! I will be able to help people get homes! Or even to help people sell homes and real estate!

We never meant for our house to be a transition home. Somehow our hearts are open to people in need and that opens our home to them also. We have then 9th person in our home as I am writing this.  We said never again about 2 years ago and here we are helping another friend in need.

Quotes from Ross

Baby I love you!  I never knew it could be this easy to be in love!!  Sitting at the kitchen table this morning looking over my bowl a cereal with marshmallows at you at the other end of the table coloring your  decremental   Christmas coco cup I really knew at that moment we were the perfect pair of big kids raising a pair a little kids to grow up to be big kids! ;-) I'm right where I'm suppose to be! I love you Jessica Rukke!!

Think for yourself. Don't be afraid of the consequences.

Husband quote

work ethic

I found out this morning that my work ethic may not be the best for my relationship with my husband. Let me tell a little of how I got this way and what I do. I was raised by a single mom. Even when I was sick as a little child, she didn't call in. I was 4 years old and brought to college with my blanky and tissue box. When she was sick she would take medicine and be off to work. She broke her leg last year and still took the bus to work each day, until the doctor told her other wise. I have been taught that you don't call in unless you absolutely HAVE to. I was a single mom for 3.5 years and bought my house on part time walmart wages! I had no room in my time to be sick or take time off. DayQuil and nightquil help to get me to my days off so that I can rest and get better. Now I work at the school and a shoe store, also I have my sewing business at home and babysit on Fridays. When I got sick last Saturday I got my medicine and box of tissues and was on my way to work. The trouble this morning was that my husband was sick and just wanted to stay home to have his body heal (which makes sense) and I got him up and sent him out the door. But it was what he said to me that upset me... I know how he felt at that moment, and nothing I can say will let him know that I don't look bad upon him for taking care of himself.


The dream was strange late this morning. I was in a meadow near a school or something with a forest near. I had asked for a loan for a doctor or dentist and they set up a board of 6 or 7 people at a table near the edge of the woods to listen to my presentation. The question asked was "What makes us believe that you will pay us back?" I started by explaining that I was raised by a single mom, who put herself through college. I went on to state that, she even bought her own home, only to have to flee because of my sister. I stated how Mama tried to keep that house, but the renter wasn't doing their part. I went on to tell of us moving to Arizona and how for many years Mama wasn't able to pay the attorney for her divorce and she had kept her own record of payment and finally paid him off 8 years later. I was crying hysterically in the dream by this time, but went on to state that 5 years ago I had left Arizona with nothing. I had paid off all bills just so I could buy my house, and that I recently got my job so that I could pay everyone off, and just needed this loan for my family's health. Then I woke myself up from talking in my sleep, lol.

He told me once

He told me once that he knew I was the right girl for home because I put the thick sliced cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches.


well its hard to have others understand. I want to explain it all, bit feel like its a waist! I have down graded our phones to less than $100 a month for 3 and am still trying to do better. I don't have cable or satellite TV. We got a deal on our internet for $60 a month (I still think it's too much) and we have Netflix for $8 a month. I'm still paying for the car and house that adds to $700 a month. and that doesn't count the electric and water bills.  Oh and we are still paying for our bed, and thankful to have one after sleeping on the couch for 2 years since I bought this house.  So with those 3 at $100 each, our monthly bills are $1,168 without any credit card bills our money we owe family members. Ross' job is 1,200 a month and we still need gas and food! I understand our family is wanting repaid, but I am unable at this time!!!

Still in love

It is Ross and my one year anniversary and I am so incredibly in love with him. We still have not had a fight and I find reasons to love him more every day. He is such a strong and caring man and I am blessed everyday that we get to have each other. I also still have love for another man in my heart, Ian still has a place in my heart. A friend posted a photo to respect Ian's memory yesterday and my heart is breaking for him still today. So in one day, I am totally in love with two men, one who is living with me and one who I loved until death.